Ez a poszt inkabb amolyan terapias celt szolgal most, tudom, hogy idovel valtozni fog, de most ugy kiirnam magambol (es, hogy legyen egy-ket szemelyes-lelkizos poszt is...)
Annak ellenere, hogy eleg rendes gyakorlatom van mar abban. hogy beilleszkedjek egy masik orszag kulturajaba, megtanuljam a nyelvet, a szlengeket, es cakkumpakk mindent, ami ahhoz kell, hogy otthonosan erezzem magam, es annak ellenere, hogy tudom, ez neha egy marha lassu folyamat (hajjj, de nagyon lassu...), de folyamatos tanulassal es odafigyelessel egyre csak jobb lesz, azert alkalmankent csak beszippant egy erzelmi spiral (mit spiral, cunami inkabb) es felulirja az osszes logikusan felepitett racionalis gondolatot ami a fejecskemben mar jo ideje szepen el van raktarozva es rendszerezve van.
Mert mi is volt a tortenet mult vasarnap... Igazabol en sem tudom mi tortent, valszeg egy ilyen erzelmi cunami teritett be, es par napra elegge hipererzekennye valtoztatott, de mar mulik...
Hogy mirol is van szo: Eclezioval elegge hasonlo a csaladi hatterunk, neki ket testvere van, nekem egy, aki idosebb es van ket unokahugom. Eclezional ugyanigy, az idosebb testverenek van ket gyereke, igy tehat neki van egy unakahuga es egy unokaoccse. Ami meg kozos ebben a ket csaladban, hogy vegtelenul humorosak, az en tesomek is, es Eclezio tesoi is, nagyon jokat lehet veluk csevegni, rohogni, viccesek, meg minden.
Mult vasarnap atjottek hozzank vendegsegbe, es ebed utan a nappaliban ultunk, kaveztunk, beszelgettunk...es akkor egy olyan, de olyan eros honvagyam lett amit eleg nehez most igy leirni, csak atsuhant a gondolataim kozott, de azzal a lendulettel le is taglozott rendesen.
Miert is? Hat, persze, hogy a nyelv! Es a humor! Itt most nem arrol van szo, hogy ulok egy tarsasagban ahol egy kukkot sem ertek, nem. Igaz, a portugalom eleg kezdo szinten van meg, de sokat ertek, tobbet, mint amit el is tudok mondani, es ha kell, feltalalom es megertetem magam. De az igazi, szivbol jovo nevetestol, attol a humortol, ami majd az en szemelyisegemet adja, oly messze vagyok meg, akkor is, ha tudom, ez valtozni fog. Akkor, abban a pillanatban uuugy hianyzott az en tesom, az en sogorom es az en ket unokahugom a maguk beszolasaival, megjegyzeseikkel, karomkodasaikkal.
Mert mi tortenik akkor, amikor valaki meg csak ismerkedik a nyelvvel:
1. sz. eset: Folyik a csevej, az emberek egymasnak adjak a szot (nahat, ez mar eleve az igen nagy kihivas kategoria - bekapcsolodni egy hadaros-egymas szavaba vagos-rohogos beszelgetesbe) egy adott temarol. Ha nem kapom el a kulcsszot, amirol a tema folyik, marpedig korlatozott szokinccsel ez az azert elofordul, akkor a maradek ido azzal megy el, hogy a kulcsszo hianya nelkul probalom kihamozni hogy mirol van szo. Nem mindig sikerul...ahogy elobb emlitettem, a szokincs hianya neha nem is teszi lehetove, hogy nagyon korul tudjon az ember irni dolgokat (most tekintsunk el attol, hogy Ecleziot magam melle allithatom tolmacsnak, de ebben az esetben nem akartam mindent lefordittatni...persze, inkabb csinalok hulyet magambol...)
2. sz. eset: Folyik a csevej, megvan a kulcs szo, hurra, mar fogalmazodik a fejben egy megjegyzes, de jo, en is hozzaszolok, meg is teszem, es akkor csond...mivel annyira raizgultam arra az egy szora, sajna a tema masfele ment el, es az en megjegyzesem finoman nem illik bele a parbeszedbe...ahhh, csak egy kicsit kinos. De sebaj, mosolygok, majd megy az, a gyerekek is evekig tanuljak a nyelvet...innentol kezdve mar csak a piros arcszint kene normalis szintre hozni...
3. sz. eset: Folyik a csevej, megvan a kulcsszo, megvan a mondat, beleillik a parbeszedbe is, lefuttatjuk magunkban: ige rendben, ragozas rendben, fonev, melleknev, hatarozok is igazodnak, minden kafa es akkor kivagunk egy nyelvtanilag tokeletes mondatot, ami mondjuk nem is egy mondat, hanem ketto, esetleg egy rovid gondolatmenet, amire a reakcio a kovetkezo: Que? Vagyis: Mi? Ahhhh...dehat ugy ejtettem mindent ahogy kell! Es megint ott vagyunk, hianyos szokinccsel nem fog az ember korbeirni dolgokat, max elismetli szavankent, szotagolva akar, mutogat, csak azok a nagy bociszemek tunnenek mar el akik csak neznek rad, tulajdonkeppen mit is akarsz mondani.
Nos, azon a vasarnapon nekem sikerult a fenti harmat (tobbszor is) abszolvalnom, ezert kaphattam azt a jo kis erzelmi cunamit a nyakamba, estefele, a kanapen. Eltartott par napig mig visszarangattam magam a "Dehat Braziliaban vagyunk!! Sut a nap!! Jo ido van, veeegre!! Hahoooo!! happy feelingbe.
Volt egy hab a tortan is azert, beadva a vegso onbizalominjekciot: mar indultak a vendegek, es az ajtoban bucsuzkodtunk, amikor Simone (Eclezio sogornoje) bucsuzaskeppen megkoszonte a kavet es meghivast, hozzateve, hogy szep a lakas stb...mire en azt valaszoltam, hogy hamarosan talalkozunk.
Tudom, szazezer koszonomot kellett volna elotte mondanom, meg hogy az o kaveja is nagyon finom volt multkor es jojjenek maskor is, de addigra teljesen leamortizalodott az agyam az egesz napos koncentralastol, es hat ennyire futotta...
Kesobb Eclezio megjegyezte, hogy ez igy nem volt tul udvarias, es ugy hangzott, mintha ki akartam volna oket rugni. Kosz, ez jol esett. Mondtam neki, hogy a valasztekos beszed a harmadik ev tananyaga lesz, ne most baszkuraljon ezzel ha lehet.
Szoval nem konnyu. Tudom persze, hogy ez majd megvaltozik. Es amugy nem is zavar, megszoktam, hogy ez ezzel jar. Tanulok, sokat nezek tevet, hangosan olvasok. Csak most valahogy nem voltam jo passzban par napig.
A fonti szosszenetet most leirom angolul is. Nem leforditom, hanem leirom angolul ugy, ahogy azon a nyelven passzol. Es kozben azt kivanom, barcsak mar portugalul tudnam leirni ugy, ahogy azon a nyelven passzol...
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This post is written mainly for therapeutic purposes as I know well that my communication is going to improve with time. But for now, I just need to write, that`s all.
I have many years of experience of how to integrate into an another country`s culture, learn the language, be interested in history, people, gastronomy etc...I know that language-wise it`s a long process to learn to speak well, learn idioms, phrases and slang. You do a hard work to achieve all this for many years, hence you need lots of lots of patience mainly at the beginning. I know all this, my brain follows this process as this is the rational way.
And still. Sometimes all above just gets overwritten by an emotional tsunami wave and I have to explain to myself again and again that patience is a key. Until a certain amount of vocabulary is not built in the memory, communication is everything but not easy. Even if the grammar or the conjugation is crap...but with a nice vocabulary you can at least talk. Or say something.
What happened last Sunday...To be honest I even don't known what happened, an emotional wave of tsunami just came, overwhelmed me and I just found myself hypersensitive for a couple of days....but I am getting okay by now.
In order to understand the background: Eclezio`s and my family is pretty similar regarding sense of humor, we love each other and can chat for hours. He has two brothers, I have a sister who has two daughters so I have two nieces. Eclezio`s older brother has also two kids, so Eclezio has a niece and nephew from this brother`s side.
Last Sunday we invited them for lunch and afternoon coffee and while we were sitting in the living room I suddenly got this emotional wave and started to miss my family soooo much.
Why was that? Because of the language! Because of the sense of humor I miss for so many years living abroad! Humor is not the same in a foreign language. You can learn it, like it, understand it but it`s never gonna be the same as your native language.
Because what happens when you start learning a new language:
Case No. 1: People are chatting around you, loudly, quickly (it will be another challenge to make your own comments as well) and if you missed the key word of the subject the remaining time will be spent to figure out what the others are talking about. It`s pretty common at the beginning but still bad feeling. (of course, let`s not consider now that you could ask someone to translate, the point is to try to understand native speakers)
Case No. 2: People are chatting around you, loudly, quickly, you caught the key word, perfect, you are enough brave to make your comment and a more or less correct sentence has been already created inside, then you say it...But oh no, you were a bit slow and subject slightly changed so your comment doesn't really fit into the conversation, or people just don't get what you wanted to say...The usual reaction is silence and everybody is looking at you which I personally hate because I am a bit shy talker whats more, tend to blush right now. Embarrassing for sure.
Case No. 3.: People are chatting around you, loudly, quickly, you caught the key word, perfect, you have opinion as well, so you can finally join the conversation, everything goes well then you make your comments, which is one or two sentences, or perhaps even a thread. People are looking at you and pay attention and when you finished they just ask: Que? (What?) Shit. Which part they didn't catch? It is probably my pronunciation (however it sounded well to me, LOL!) so I start repeating word by word hoping that it won`t take for long and make the others bored.
Well, on the ominous Sunday I managed to present all of above more times maybe that`s why I got a bit emotional and frustrated by the evening. It`s a slow process I know. Usually I don't mind but sometimes emotions just come and overwrite rationality.
The cherry on the top was when guests were about the leave and Simone (Eclezio`s sister-in-law) thanked for the invitation for the coffee and she complimented the flat etc...I was mentally pretty exhausted by that time due to the full day concentration and all I could say was: See you soon. Which might be okay in English but sounds a bit rude in Portuguese as Eclezio later commented on it. I know he wanted to help because it is another thing: when and what it is recommended to say not to sound impolite in another language. But I was just in a mood anymore and it took for some day to get over it.
And how I wish now to be able to write all above in Portuguese as well...
I have many years of experience of how to integrate into an another country`s culture, learn the language, be interested in history, people, gastronomy etc...I know that language-wise it`s a long process to learn to speak well, learn idioms, phrases and slang. You do a hard work to achieve all this for many years, hence you need lots of lots of patience mainly at the beginning. I know all this, my brain follows this process as this is the rational way.
And still. Sometimes all above just gets overwritten by an emotional tsunami wave and I have to explain to myself again and again that patience is a key. Until a certain amount of vocabulary is not built in the memory, communication is everything but not easy. Even if the grammar or the conjugation is crap...but with a nice vocabulary you can at least talk. Or say something.
What happened last Sunday...To be honest I even don't known what happened, an emotional wave of tsunami just came, overwhelmed me and I just found myself hypersensitive for a couple of days....but I am getting okay by now.
In order to understand the background: Eclezio`s and my family is pretty similar regarding sense of humor, we love each other and can chat for hours. He has two brothers, I have a sister who has two daughters so I have two nieces. Eclezio`s older brother has also two kids, so Eclezio has a niece and nephew from this brother`s side.
Last Sunday we invited them for lunch and afternoon coffee and while we were sitting in the living room I suddenly got this emotional wave and started to miss my family soooo much.
Why was that? Because of the language! Because of the sense of humor I miss for so many years living abroad! Humor is not the same in a foreign language. You can learn it, like it, understand it but it`s never gonna be the same as your native language.
Because what happens when you start learning a new language:
Case No. 1: People are chatting around you, loudly, quickly (it will be another challenge to make your own comments as well) and if you missed the key word of the subject the remaining time will be spent to figure out what the others are talking about. It`s pretty common at the beginning but still bad feeling. (of course, let`s not consider now that you could ask someone to translate, the point is to try to understand native speakers)
Case No. 2: People are chatting around you, loudly, quickly, you caught the key word, perfect, you are enough brave to make your comment and a more or less correct sentence has been already created inside, then you say it...But oh no, you were a bit slow and subject slightly changed so your comment doesn't really fit into the conversation, or people just don't get what you wanted to say...The usual reaction is silence and everybody is looking at you which I personally hate because I am a bit shy talker whats more, tend to blush right now. Embarrassing for sure.
Case No. 3.: People are chatting around you, loudly, quickly, you caught the key word, perfect, you have opinion as well, so you can finally join the conversation, everything goes well then you make your comments, which is one or two sentences, or perhaps even a thread. People are looking at you and pay attention and when you finished they just ask: Que? (What?) Shit. Which part they didn't catch? It is probably my pronunciation (however it sounded well to me, LOL!) so I start repeating word by word hoping that it won`t take for long and make the others bored.
Well, on the ominous Sunday I managed to present all of above more times maybe that`s why I got a bit emotional and frustrated by the evening. It`s a slow process I know. Usually I don't mind but sometimes emotions just come and overwrite rationality.
The cherry on the top was when guests were about the leave and Simone (Eclezio`s sister-in-law) thanked for the invitation for the coffee and she complimented the flat etc...I was mentally pretty exhausted by that time due to the full day concentration and all I could say was: See you soon. Which might be okay in English but sounds a bit rude in Portuguese as Eclezio later commented on it. I know he wanted to help because it is another thing: when and what it is recommended to say not to sound impolite in another language. But I was just in a mood anymore and it took for some day to get over it.
And how I wish now to be able to write all above in Portuguese as well...
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